So if you haven’t yet heard, this past Wednesday changed my life.  Two days ago I asked my amazing girlfriend Rocio Quinones to marry me.

And she said yes.

Sweet.

Here’s how it all went down:

A little over a year ago Rocio and I had our third date at this little place in Decatur called Taqueria Del Sol. After we ate we walked down the street toward Java Monkey and I asked to hold her hand for the first time.

Wednesday was a repeat of almost everything…but this time, when I asked for her hand, I asked to have it forever.

I knelt down, told her how I genuinely believed that she was a gift from God to me, and slipped a ring on her beautiful hand.

After she’d said yes, I pulled out a letter I’d written to her years before. Before I had met her.

And here’s what it said:

Dear one,

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing today (August 18, 2007), however impatient you are in waiting for me, thanks. Thanks for waiting…thanks for being patient with my seemingly meandering path to find you. It has not been for lack of looking. I’ve traveled much in my search and yet you still seem to remain hidden from me. There’s nothing to worry about though. If I am meant to find you in this life, then find you I will. Questions like this should not be answered by those who cannot see the future.

Only God can put the kind of love we are both pursuing together.

Fate, luck and human effort can put together imitations, but neither you nor I are willing to settle for that.

And so we wait.

It’s not necessarily a passive waiting either, there’s a lot of asking, “Lord, is she the one?” “Should I spend more time with her?” Wow, have there been a couple that have been close. I thank the Lord for His protection, for giving me eyes to see. For allowing me to wait for the sweeter romance, the more powerful story, the marriage that He might use to mark history. Should I pursue or be patient?

There are a couple right now, even today, that I wonder about. If you are one of them, please forgive me for not sweeping you off of your feet immediately and uniting with you, ending your wait. Be patient with me, I am not an expert at this kind of thing.

I certainly know that I have grown up a lot over the past 6-7 years. I could not have led you then the way I shall lead you now. My God was so small back then, so Republican, so American, so much without grace. My mind tells me that He’s bigger now. Not that he has changed size, but He has very much changed my mind’s perception of Him.

I love Him so much more now, more than I ever did. I cannot tell you what my friendship with Him means to me, how much I love Him, or the ache I tangibly feel for the day when sin’s barrier between He and I will be permanently shattered. Words can’t describe things as mystical as this…

And so dear wife, this is my best gift to you. For all the human fulfillment of togetherness, release from loneliness, and joy that aligning your life with another’s can bring; ultimately my love for you is best played out through my love for Him.

The fact is, we don’t make very good masters of ourselves. Just as in the pursuit of freedom, I find myself in bondage to the things I thought I was so free to do, so free to pursue; giving you whatever you want for yourself will never be my intention. I love you so much that I will deny your wants and desires (even at the cost of temporary harmony) in favor of what God wants and desires for you.

I certainly won’t do it perfectly, but my love for you will always go well beyond the shallow frivolities of this world’s fleeting fleshly desires.

It is my strong belief that there is greatness inside of you. God designed you for a purpose only you can fulfill and my role as your husband, as your leader, is to help you tap into that greatness. Sin’s temptation is to sell off that greatness for smaller wants, smaller dreams, unremarkable trinkets of a life spent on one’s self.

I will fight for your greatness. I will fight for the romantic epic that will be revealed through your life on this earth as you lean into the sweet rhythms of your eternal story.

And when God achieves grand glory for His name through you and the life He’s entrusted to you, you will have no bigger fan than me.

Because we are one, your success will be my success; your dreams, my dreams.

What fun it will be to live this kind of a life with you, my love.

That’s the kind of thing worth waiting for.

Until we meet,

Matt

I cannot describe with words how amazing it is to be joining my life together with this passionate, amazing woman of God. If you haven’t yet met her, I can’t wait to introduce you. I just know you’re gonna fall in love with her too.

----Rocio with the ring a few minutes after----

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----Bart, Kim (far right) and three of the KC pastors (Chris, Golden and Eric) they are serving----

I met a tribe leader. Seth Godin would define a tribe leader as someone who is leading a group of people by serving their needs. In and around the geography of Kansas City, Bart Nill, and his assitant Kim, are tribe leaders for pastors in the area of stewardship.

How has Bart won over their trust? He genuinely cares about them, and tries his best to help them achieve the goals and vision God has given them for their local congregations. Bart regularly meets with pastors in groups of 4 and pours his life out for theirs.

And they love him for it.

It’s really incredible to watch. Bart invited me to an event the night before Crown ignite! was held in KC. He was presenting the case for the ministry to several friends and supporters. Several of his pastor friends were there.

More than anything else I was struck by how much they loved this guy. I mean, I really believe that they would take a bullet for him. And when they need something in the area of stewardship, guess whose opinion they’re gonna seek out?

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----Young Haitian men, carrying water to those in need----

When moments of disaster strike close by, near in geography or near to our hearts, it’s fashionable to give and talk about how much we should be doing for the people affected by the disaster. It’s hard to find reasons not to give our time, money and effort towards our hurting human family just a short distance away.

We feel good about ourselves when we retweet something, share a post on facebook, publicly question why our governments or big companies aren’t doing more. We tell ourselves that Haiti needs more advocates like us on their side. We might even silently compare ourselves to others who aren’t doing as much as we are to advocate aid for the tragedy. But the main reason we all aren’t giving more, is that we simply don’t have more to give.

According to Barna Research, the average American gives a shade over 1% of their income away. According to this article on MSN, 43% of Americans are spending more than they make each year.

But what if you knew the earthquake was going to strike Haiti. What if you had three years to prepare for your response to the disaster. What if you knew that your personal gift of $1,000 would save 20 lives? What would you do differently?

Would you organize your finances? Would you limit yourself and put a focused effort together to make sure you had a surplus to help those in need?

I’d like to think that we all would.

Here’s the harsh reality, most of us aren’t.

We care enough now to make a lot of noise and make some sacrifices, but we don’t care enough to sacrifice our long term spending habits. There will be another disaster somewhere in the world in the next few years. The statistics are clear (there have been 31 disasters that have killed 20,000 people or more in the last 100 years).

So what?

Should we do what we can to help the people of Haiti and then sit back, do nothing and wait? Or should we actually prepare for the next disaster? For the next time someplace needs us? Put a plan in place to track how much we spend? Purposely spend less so we can give more? Convince others to do the same?

This site is about challenging the status quo when it comes to spending and consumption. The normal pattern is to make more money in order to spend more money. What if we decided to be different and alter our spending patterns and begin to move from consumers to contributors? How much more could we do the next time someone needs our help? How much more could you help next time around?

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If you would like to give to the Haiti relief efforts, please join me in giving to World Hope. They are a reputable organization that will do a great job serving the people of Haiti. Click here to give.

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Back in 2005, Haiti gave the US $50,000 dollars in support of Katrina victims. That is almost DOUBLE (as a percentage of total GDP) what the US is giving to Haiti to help with the earthquake. Not to mention the loss of human life in Haiti will be 25-50 times that of Katrina.
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